Dear Mr. Trump,
You are to be commended for having won the election yesterday. Though your tactics were reprehensible and in my estimation debased yourself, your family, the office to which you aspired, and the country altogether, no one can say, obviously, they were not effective. And so to the victor go the spoils!
I count myself among those who along the way of this election season periodically suspected that you didn’t really want this job. To be clear, I strongly suspect that you wanted the glory of winning this election, certainly wanted the ultimate affirmation that being elected President confers. I know you enjoyed the hell out of this competition. But in the end, now that you have achieved all of that, I do wonder if you really—really—care all that much about actually doing the job. Sure, you will most likely start out with some enthusiasm. However, once you discover the immutable nature of the lumbering, obstinate beast that is our government, discover that not even your charm, your will, your presumed “mandate,” nor the authority of your office itself can compel that beast to act in the ways you think it should, you will quickly grow bored and pine to move on. That or you will grow mischievous, and heaven only knows where that will take things.
Before then, however, and when you do at last awaken to the awesome responsibility that has been entrusted to you, I pray that the Lord imbues in you some critical degree of decency that, let’s be honest, you heretofore have not shown during the process of getting elected (and long before that, since the tape never lies). I pray that, if you cannot muster the capacity to think about the well-being of others (which is qualitatively different than acting like you do, at which you are quite accomplished), you at least extend your self-serving interests and ways toward the likes of your own kin–your children, and any children they may be blessed eventually to have. If you are at least willing to do that, I imagine there stands to be some peripheral benefit for other members of our community, resulting in something positive for someone other than just yourself.
If I seem bitter with these words, or overly caustic and cynical, it’s just that I’m a psychologist, and you—no offense intended—are a very simple person to grasp. And your type is simply not given to much of what is intended by “public service.” And while I may call you simple, that most decidedly isn’t to say I understand your methods and how they blend with the prevailing atmosphere. On that front, I’m nothing short of shocked as shit. And humbled! Yes! I am the coastal, educated elite that your success seems specifically intended to silence, my mouth filled at the task of eating this much crow today. Please tell your minions in Pennsyltucky how badly I hurt today, that their celebration be only more acute. Again—victor, spoils! And might I add, bravo (though I must fall short at “encore”).
So, in closing, here’s a thought: since you are perhaps the first President to enter office beholden to no one (both by dint of circumstances and your character), how about continuing in your shocking vein and actually “character up” as you prepare for your impending endeavors? That’s right, sir—dare to be a better person, and dare to do a good job “for all,” to quote your acceptance speech. That would be downright decent of you.